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FAIRFIELD COUNTY, Conn. The pressure for kids to excel in sports in Fairfield County is growing and the weight is being put on them at younger and younger ages. Most of that pressure, experts say, is coming from parents.
A forum held in Darien back in April to discuss the issues was well attended by parents. John Woodring, a former New York Jet and current fourth grade teacher at Tokeneke School in Darien, headlined that panel. He holds to what he said back then: Kids are overscheduled and forced to specialize in a sport as early as fifth or sixth grade in hopes of becoming a superstar talent in a Division I college.
But that is too soon for a child to make that choice, he said. I think at a young age, a kid has no idea. Every now and then theres a special kid who says in second grade, Im going to be a professional football player, and thats what Im going to be when I grow up, and he does, Woodring said.
But most kids dont know. Most kids play because they want to have fun, they want to learn stuff, they want to be with their friends and to have a nice experience. I think where the problem begins is when the parents sometimes push something on them.
As college acceptances become more and more competitive, parents want their children to excel at an extracurricular activity such as sports to stand out from the crowd, said Paul Ribeiro, director of guidance at Darien High School.
The message I give is that, ultimately, the parents are the ones who control this, Ribeiro said. The kids happiness is the most important thing. If the kids not happy, they shouldnt be playing a sport. I hate the thought of kids feeling pressured that they need to do certain things.
Though Woodring and Ribeiro agreed coaches can be overdemanding, Stamford High School athletic director Peter Sampari said most of the pressure to excel comes from home. We dont push them the way parents push them. We encourage the kids to come out, he said. I coached football for 15 years, and youre not going to get a whole lot out of an athlete if youre forcing them to do this or that. Youre just turning them off.
Woodring went further, saying that although the pressure in sports is evident across the country, demands are higher than average in Fairfield County. There are places in Texas or in South Florida that are pretty crazy in that aspect, but I think Fairfield County is catching up, he said. Its an affluent county, and kids go to a lot of really good schools.
I have a lot of friends who do a lot of driving in and out of state to bring their kids to travel games all over the place. And I asked them, Why are you doing this? And they say its because if they dont do it, their kids wont get the skill set necessary to compete with the other kids. To me, thats ridiculous because if youre an athlete youll always be able to figure it out.
Sometimes a childs enjoyment comes down to time management, Ribeiro said. Most of our kids handle it pretty well. Its certainly not a widespread thing, but there are just some kids who have a hard time with time management skills, he said. And other times its a little bit more than that, and we have to help them accordingly. In the rare occasion there has to be a difficult decision made like they have to quit the team. Ultimately, academics have to come first.
Woodring, who coaches youth football in Norwalk, reminds parents that the most important thing is for a child to have fun. Kids dont need to be playing one sport year-round before high school. Specialization can wait, he said.
I enjoyed going to my kids football games in the fall, basketball games in the winter, baseball games in the spring and playing golf with them in the summer. Thats fun, he said. You have to enjoy it. If you dont, its not worth your while.
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