Piece by Piece: Fearing the Fourth of July?

As a child, when I thought of the Fourth of July, I thought of swimming with my cousins, barbecues, ice cream and fireworks. I loved to see the fireworks. I remember that the booms would feel like they were vibrating through my body as colors filled the sky. My ears would be ringing after the finale, which seemed to have the loud booms overlapping.

Now, as the mom of a child with an autism spectrum disorder, thoughts of the Fourth of July fill me with worry. Peter has a new favorite word lately, apprehensive. He has been using it when describing how he feels before a storm. The first time he said it, he said, “I feel apprehensive. That means worried, you know.”

The Fourth of July always makes Peter apprehensive. One year we went to my parents’ condo complex to see the fireworks from their hill. Peter was very young and we were just starting to figure out what scared him and why. That night loud noises became a very clear problem.

When the fireworks started, Peter ran toward the condo. I followed him and we sat away from the windows in the middle of condo, curled into a huddled position. No matter what he did, he could not block out the sound enough.  

I had one of those, “What was I thinking moments” as I tried to comfort him and make him feel safe. Poor Peter spent the next several months closing my parents’ curtains whenever we went to visit. As the sun went down, he would insist on going home to avoid the next fireworks display. He would not believe us, no matter how many times we told him it only happened on the Fourth of July.

Now age 10, Peter knows the Fourth of July and fireworks go together, so he does not have to worry year-round, unless we are at Disney World. By the end of June, he will listen each night to see if neighbors are starting the booms and watch the sky for lights. He gets through it with some apprehension, pacing and cajoling, but with much less fear. Each year, we figure out another way to help him piece the holiday together.

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