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“I’m so happy to see u rise above the crap and over come the pills and depression…,” the writer told her. “I’m overjoyed w/ happiness even more to see the pics of you and ur happy kids… Thank u more then u know….”
Machado originally told me she’d be happy if she helped just one person “not have to go through what I did.” In another chat, she said she wanted those who’d experienced such heartbreak to know that events don’t define you — that, no matter what happens, you can still find happiness. If she could do it, Kara said, others can.
Still, she said, she never expected the response she’s gotten.
Her seven-part series, she said, “touched a lot of people and have given them hope – everything from mothers with severely depressed daughters, those who have been victims of rape, those who have dealt with bad people … the list goes on.
“It touches my heart that my struggles could somehow be beneficial to others – even in the smallest way.”
THE SERIES: Former award-winning journalist Kara Machado, who gave birth to her third son earlier this year, chronicles her battle against drugs, depression and evil colleagues in CLIFFVIEW PILOT‘s first-ever serialized report.
PART I: As far back as I can remember, I’ve battled sadness and anxiety. Then I fell into a three-year spiral that pitted me against my inner and outer demons. I‘m not sure what pulled me under. Maybe it was the influence of the most bizarre and unusual of pen pals, Charles Manson himself. CLICK HERE….
PART II: Like most crime reporters, I was obsessed with nailing a “criminal celebrity” interview. As it turned out, the nearby city of Corcoran, Calif. had two prisons: One held mostly drug offenders — Robert Downey Jr., for instance. The other had some of the most notorious: Sirhan Sirhan, Juan Corona, and one of the most vile creatures to walk the earth: Charles Manson. CLICK HERE….
PART III: I was feeling pretty good about myself after some severe bouts with drugs and depression when I went out drinking one night with my cousins. That’s when I met John. It’s truly amazing how easily we put our self-esteem into another’s hands, only to have it stomped on. CLICK HERE….
PART IV: I woke up one morning in the back seat of my car, in my driveway. I didn’t know how I got there, what happened. It was only later that I discovered a so-called friend dosed my drink and raped me, as three other “friends” stood in the doorway. CLICK HERE….
PART V: I don’t care what anyone says: People are complicated. Look at John. I showed him the door after he made me feel awful about myself. But when life smacked me down and things looked their worst, there he was. Soon as I was back on my feet, he was at it again. CLICK HERE….
PART VI: No place to live, with two boys already and another on the way. CLICK HERE….
THE POWERFUL CONCLUSION: Truth and Falsehood were bathing; Falsehood came out of the water and dressed herself in Truth’s clothes. Truth, unwilling to put on the garments of Falsehood, went naked. (ANONYMOUS). Child support was on its way, but we barely had enough to buy the kids a meal when we reached Boise. It meant we had to spend the night in the car in the Walmart parking lot. CLICK HERE…
Thousands of twinkling lights
And still no way to see me home.
I shiver, without shelter near
So sad, for me, I wander still.
From darkness, I can’t free my soul
No matter, for I have no home.
And still no shelter from this cold
For me … so sad … I wander still.
— Kara Machado (1996)
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