45°
On behalf of all those veteran Stop and Shoppers, Shopriters, and Stew Leonard's lovers who, like me, have experienced something akin to road rage while maneuvering a cart through the frozen food section, I've decided a little grocery store etiquette is in order. I'm no arbiter of social correctness per se, but come on, people! Driving a cart through a grocery store shouldn't feel like rush hour on I-95.
Still, as with driving a car, working your way through the aisles of your local food store calls for a few simple rules of the road and at least a basic awareness of others (drivers in Fairfield County might not be the best example here, but that's another story entirely).
The first, and most important statute is simple: Pull over! If a sale on your kids' favorite cereal catches your eye, I implore you not to simply stop, dead center, in the aisle. While you've wandered over to the Cheerios, those of us who eat toast for breakfast are left to maneuver around your stopped vehicle, carts from both directions in turn. As an alternative, the aggressive maneuverers among us are forced to stop our carts to move yours (and we're often met with evil glares when busted by the offender). Along the same lines (pun intended) no one should be "driving" straight down the middle of a two-way street but rather moving along on the right hand side of the aisle, allowing other shoppers to pass if they so choose.
Next, please curb your children. If you have young kids - and I've been there - put them in the cart or give them a cookie if they hold onto the side. Give them a cookie anyway. Bribery to preserve the sanity of an innocent public is not only acceptable, it's a matter of safety. I don't want to run them over.
Cell phones: not only do I not want to hear about your friend's lying, cheating, no-good boyfriend, but seriously, how on earth can you shop for food, maneuver a cart, and talk that loudly all at once?
If the little old lady (or, ahem, the middle-aged lady) only has a bunch of arugula and a pound of bacon, and you've just shopped for your family reunion, why not give up the extra 45 seconds and let her go ahead of you in the line? Remember, Karma can be a beautiful thing, or it can be a...well, you know.
Finally, if the cashier is your friend from high school, please, oh please, take his cell phone number and catch up on old times after he gets off from work, because I'm in line behind you I'm already late thanks to the gridlock on aisle five.
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