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Leslie Morgan Steiner was the keynote speaker at the Domestic Violence Crisis Center's 13th Annual Voices of Courage Spring Luncheon held Thursday at the Stamford Marriott Hotel. The center, which serves Stamford, Norwalk, Westport, New Canaan, Darien, Wilton and Weston, also honored a New Canaan advocate.
Steiner wrote the memoir "Crazy Love" about her experience with abuse, which began with an attack a few days before her wedding. The attack was a horrifying one.
"Being strangled is a really, really terrible thing. He was completely out of control," she said. After the attack, he went to work as if nothing had happened. She called a hotline, however, the phone was busy.
"I told myself I would call later but I never, never did," she said. After years of abuse, she finally left him and is now remarried.
DeDe Bartlett, the Voices of Courage honoree at the luncheon, is a New Canaan resident who has been heavily involved in domestic abuse issues.
Bartlett announced the launch of a new campaign, called $ustainABILITYCT, to help domestic violence victims learn the tools of financial independence. Victims often have little money because their partners have either denied them money or have hidden money and other assets from them, she said.
"Financial independence is the key to long-term stability and independence," Bartlett said.
Before the luncheon, she said that great strides have been made in helping victims compared with the silence that surrounded the issue decades ago.
"This was a private tragedy that woman and children had to bear alone. They no longer have to bear that alone," she said. "There are places to go and people who can help and people who do help and that is the good news."
Introductory speaker Linda Fairstein dealt with crimes against women and children in the Manhattan District Attorney's Office, where she was the bureau chief of the Sex Crimes Prosecution Unit.
In her speech, Fairstein said that when she first started in the DA's office after graduating from law school in 1972, domestic violence wasn't taken seriously in the justice system.
Women's stories of assault and sexual assault were often not believed or blamed on the victim, she said. In some cases, she said, judges would recommend that an abuser go for a walk and cool down instead of being prosecuted.
"Domestic violence was really the stepchild of the criminal justice system," Fairstein said.
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