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The place is empty when Ralph gives me a tour. Well, except for the nine sets of bunk beds, stacked in a pair of rooms about the size in college dormitories. Though he lives with 17 other men in Operation Hope's shelter in Fairfield, Ralph sees his month-and-a-half here as the first step toward independence.
"Operation Hope is a great place for those that want to help themselves," Ralph says. "We're all grown men here, and what you choose to do with yourself determines where you go."
Ralph admits he wasn't always committed to self-improvement. His 20-year off-and-on addiction to drugs and alcohol cost him his marriage as well as his home in Fairfield and almost his relationship with his three grown children. After being laid off from his landscaping job, Ralph was out on the street, hoping temp work would get him enough cash to sleep at a hotel instead of a friend's couch.
Finally, six months ago he decided he'd had enough. Ralph had the good life once and was tired of "not being happy." He got clean, and this time looked into the reasons why he had turned to drugs in the first place.
Ralph grew up as one of eight kids in a single-mother household and usually had to fend for himself. That carried over into school, where he would rather have gone to the principal's office than admit he needed help with his work.
"I was popular because of sports, but I was scared to get up at that blackboard and spell a word," Ralph says. "As an 8- or 9-year-old, I couldn't process the fact that it was OK to ask for help. A lot of that carried over to my adulthood."
Just by coming to Operation Hope, Ralph shows that he's lost that mentality. Each resident at the Fairfield shelter works with a counselor. Those volunteers help with his job search, encourage him to stay sober and hopefully place him in a home of his own.
A smile peeks from behind Ralph's graying mustache as he talks about his life. He spent Christmas with his children, even his usually skeptical son. These days, he's all about one thingpositivity.
"I like to say that I keep my head up so I can see where I'm going," Ralph says. "It's all about how you look at your situation."
Do you know someone who has turned their life around? Or someone who helps people make changes? Send an email to gcanuel@mainstreetconnect.us.
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