Feeling angry is universal. That's a no-brainer. Where it gets complicated is figuring out how to express it. If we scream and yell, we end up feeling badly about ourselves and scaring people away. If we stifle ourselves (I AM NOT ANGRY!) we seethe in the aftermath. Therapist Alice Katz, a Fairfielder, tackles the thorny anger dilemma in a Westport Continuing Ed course she has taught for 25 years; a new session begins on June 29.
Her work as a therapist, as well as teaching successive classes, has convinced Alice that most of us need some help handling our anger. It's not that I'm aiming to have people not be angry, I think anger is important, but it has to be appropriate to the situation. And very often, it's not. she says.
In her class, discussion is propelled by a workbook, It's Not Personal, Alice wrote. It helps students explore their anger m.o. over the course's six sessions. With questionnaires and charts, the workbook pinpoints areas in need of triage. At the end of the 6 weeks, they have to evaluate their own progress and they can do that by looking back at all these things they've filled out, she says. It's called It's Not Personal, she explains, because our anger is often misfired. In most cases, there was no intent, it's not personal. It's where the other person is coming from at that moment. But people don't react that way, they react as though it is personal, she says.
Her recently-completed Continuing Ed class with twelve students was equally divided between men and women. For so long, women have learned to bury their anger, so maybe this is progress. It's really surprising in today's world, when you see so many angry movies, violence everywhere in the media, to find that women, especially, still can't express their anger openly. Although more and more I'm getting women who really express their anger the way men always have by screaming and yelling. So, it is changing, Alice says. The course is not included in Westport Continuing Ed's summer catalog, so to sign up, call the continuing ed office at 203-341-1209.
Click here to follow Daily Voice and receive free news updates.
