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Your Dating Preferences Don't Scare Philly Matchmaker Starring On Netflix's New Hit Show

Philadelphia-area native Aleeza Ben Shalom's warmth and knowledge is showcased on Netflix's new hit dating show "Jewish Matchmaking."

Aleeza Ben Shalom on Netflix's "Jewish Matchmaking."

Aleeza Ben Shalom on Netflix's "Jewish Matchmaking."

Photo Credit: Netflix
Fay and Shaya on a date on Netflix's "Jewish Matchmaking."

Fay and Shaya on a date on Netflix's "Jewish Matchmaking."

Photo Credit: Netflix

The show is from the same team who produced "Indian Matchmaking," and debuted on Netflix Wednesday, May 3. 

On "Jewish Matchmaking," Ben Shalom — a dating coach who grew up in Brynn Mawr — works to pair Jewish singles of all ages from across the U.S. and in Israel with their potential soulmates. 

The show follows the singles as they date and, hopefully, end up under the chuppah.

Ben Shalom has always loved putting people together, and considered herself a networker and people person. She later worked at JMatchmaking.com and, while doing online matchmaking, would find herself taking tons of calls from people seeking free dating advice.

In 2008, when the housing industry collapsed, Ben Shalom's husband urged her to get a job. That's when she began monetizing her services.

"My husband asked me to work but I said I had a job: 'I'm a matchmaker,'" Ben Shalom recalled. "I didn't want to do anything else."

At the urging of her husband, Ben Shalom built a business. She called it Marriage Minded Mentor.

Ben Shalom finds gratification in the process of helping people grow and see things from a different perspective. If their dating ways haven't been working, she encourages them to change their ways in order to get different results.

Many of her clients are picky. And Ben Shalom will be the first to tell you, everyone is particular.

"Everybody has preferences," she said. "To me, it's just a piece of data and information, I'm not shocked by it. I think there's some misperception that people aren't entitled to their preferences, which makes no sense at all.

"Ask anyone who is married, they have preferences, too."

If you've seen "Jewish Matchmaking," you'd know just how particular some of the clients are. One wants an Israeli with blonde hair and blue eyes, another seeks a passionate, sexual connection.

On "Indian Matchmaking," one woman wants a guy with a man bun. To her, that's important. Another wants a girl who can speak Hindi. 

How does Ben Shalom handle it?

"I give someone what they want and try to live in their box, and if it doesn't work, I ask them to try something different," she said. "I ask them to do an 'Aleeza pick.'"

When it comes to making a successful match, paramount is listening to what people want and understanding it. Beyond making the match, though, Ben Shalom prepares people for the long game.

"During the process I'm going to make sure you understand what it means to be in a long term relationship," she said. "Anyone can get married, but not anybody can stay married.

"Preparing people for a long-term, healthy relationship is the biggest key to success and prepares them throughout the process to date in a hyper-focused marriage-minded way."

And, of course, the old adage holds true when it comes to dating, Ben Shalom said: If at first you don't succeed...

"Every other time it's bad, and that's normal," Ben Shalom said. "Most people ask, 'What's wrong with me?' They just want to be fixed.

"But nothing is 'wrong' with you. It's just the process, and there is something wrong with your understanding of the process. But just keep looking Your person exists and is living and breathing here in this world."

And if you need help, Ben Shalom is here for you.

Ben Shalom has successfully landed more than 200 couples under the chuppah, and lives in Israel with her husband, dog, and five children. She has penned two books and contributed to a third on relationships and dating.

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